3 Things To Know

“I don’t really know what to expect. I’ve never done counseling before.” If we’ve heard this once, we’ve heard it a thousand times. Some of the men and women we work with have spent a substantial amount of time in a counseling environment. However, many of them, especially pastors and church leaders, have not.

We understand the first step into a counseling office can be a bit intimidating. What do you say? Where do you start? How does this process work?

Are you considering counseling? Maybe you are ready to jump into your first appointment RIGHT NOW. Or maybe you are still trying to decide if you are ready to start. Either way, here are a 3 things we would like you to know before you step into your first meeting…

1. Your counselor is FOR you! 

Your counselor wants the very best for you. He is not sitting back, judging the mistakes you’ve made, criticizing the decisions that led you to this point. She is not looking for what’s wrong with you in order to turn it back on you in a shame attack. 

You can be confident that as you share your situation with your counselor, he or she is listening with compassion to understand and to help. Your counselor wants to help you, as you are now, not as you “should be.” They want to help you move one step closer toward health and healing, one step closer to your goals, one step forward in your spiritual walk. Your counselor desires to provide a safe place for you to be vulnerable, heard, and loved. You counselor is for you.

2. Counseling is a collaborative process

You and your counselor will work together toward your goals. You don’t have to wade into the deep all by yourself. At the same time, your counselor cannot “fix” you or your spouse or your situation. Your counselor prays for wisdom and discernment to make connections of past hurts and current patterns, to help you process how your story has brought you to where you are now, and to help you see areas for change. Counseling is a process, not a quick fix. Your counselor will have exercises for you to try and homework to practice new patterns. Regardless of all the wisdom and homework your counselor may provide, you will still have to do your part of the work for change. Guided by the Holy Spirit, you and your counselor will collaborate to create the counseling experience that best fits your needs.

Which also means…

3. Things might get harder before they get easier

Forming new habits is hard work. Facing past trauma and remembering past wounds is har work. We have to break old patterns that are no longer benefiting us in order to move forward. We may have to face past situations or people who have caused us harm. This process can be painful because we have to look at why we chose the coping mechanisms and unhealthy ways of relating and then find a new way to face our situation. 

Sometimes you really won’t feel like coming to your session – and that’s exactly why you need to be there. Because it’s worth the hard work. Your health and flourishing is worth the struggle. And you’re not in it alone. Even if things get harder in the counseling process, your counselor will be there. He or she has been trained to be present with you in your suffering. 

Your journey matters – it’s why we do what we do! We are honored to hear your story and walk alongside you on this journey. You don’t have to walk it alone.